{"id":27,"date":"2010-09-09T18:24:42","date_gmt":"2010-09-09T17:24:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/?p=27"},"modified":"2010-09-19T19:18:10","modified_gmt":"2010-09-19T18:18:10","slug":"breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\/","title":{"rendered":"Breaking Free by Blue Butterfly"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I am trying to break free but have now discovered that breaking free won’t break me free of my emotions. You know life is funny, you think that you know what to do and what path to take but this can change.<\/p>\n

All my life I have been abused mentally and emotionally by my parents and this is difficult when you’re growing up in this “ego minded” world but I feel finally I have captured inner strength by letting go of fears and beliefs that were causing me to drown in the dark shadow of others.<\/p>\n

Ever since I could remember I always believed things would\u00a0be perfect for me if I ran away from my problems but I have finally understood that\u00a0was only\u00a0a fairytale ending. You can run away but your problems will run like the wind with you. My life has never been easy, I guess that’s the same for a lot of people but I was also a negative person in my troubles. Always thinking of the worst, always blaming others rather than looking at myself and how really\u00a0wonderful I am. But I can see the light now\u00a0and that was not me. I was influenced by others and being an innocent, naive young girl I thought that was normal. But in reality I was living a\u00a0life that others wanted me to live and it was all an illusion.<\/p>\n

My parents have put the whole world’s fears in me; manipulating me that if I did this then that would happen. “Don’t do this in case someone sees you and remember the family’s image” – their voices still ringing in my ears today,\u00a0repeating the same beliefs. And being a young Asian girl, with parents from India I believed them, every word they said, I believed them. So instead of shouting out and expressing myself, I suppressed everything, all my frustration and I was a replica of my mum and she loved that.<\/p>\n

Everyday it would be another thing they would stop me from doing, eventually everything stopped and I didn’t have a social life and I couldn’t escape into the delightful wonders of a book because I was emotionally tired. \u00a0All I ever did was please my mum, she had this unstoppable control over me and it hurt. I wasn’t able to show my true colours and I didn’t understand life.<\/p>\n

All those fears I absorbed from then are\u00a0still visible to this day and it has been difficult letting go of their energy and power over me.<\/p>\n

I would like to share\u00a0how it has been possible for me\u00a0 to change. It was being introduced to a healer who helped me identify that none of\u00a0 it was mine, \u00a0it was my parents fear which I\u00a0was playing out and running away was not going to solve that.<\/p>\n

I had to stand up for myself, find the true me who was lost.\u00a0No one wanted to find\u00a0me because if I was found I would be bring shame to the family. But now, by identifying and releasing their\u00a0absorbed energy and thoughts, it\u00a0has helped me see that I’m not a bad person and now\u00a0I want to live my life and be thankful that I have this opportunity to develop my spirit.<\/p>\n

Life isn’t easy; it’s not meant to be. It’s a journey, a chance to balance karma; let go and\u00a0forgive and most importantly feel what you need to feel and feel completely\u00a0from the heart!\u00a0 This is the journey I’m on now\u00a0and I’m truly grateful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am trying to break free but have now discovered that breaking free won’t break me free of my emotions. You know life is funny, you think that you know what to do and what path to take but this can change. All my life I have been abused mentally and emotionally by my parents […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBreaking Free by Blue Butterfly - Many Roads<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"Breaking Free by Blue Butterfly\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-09-09T17:24:42+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-09-19T18:18:10+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":617,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/files\\\/2010\\\/09\\\/BcqIjfgB2kKGrHqQH-EYEquVLEsYUBK1d4btSw_12-150x150.jpg\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/breaking-free-by-blue-butterfly\\\/\",\"name\":\"Breaking Free by Blue Butterfly - 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