{"id":4208,"date":"2015-12-09T20:47:47","date_gmt":"2015-12-09T19:47:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/?p=4208"},"modified":"2015-12-09T20:47:47","modified_gmt":"2015-12-09T19:47:47","slug":"4208-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sangha: Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n

\"meditation\"<\/a><\/h2>\n

Looking for a Spiritual Community<\/span><\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
Jun 7th<\/em><\/span>
\n2014<\/em><\/span><\/div>\n

Elizabeth responds to a friend who is looking for a practice community or “sangha.” She suggests that searching for a spiritual community is similar to looking for romance: you can’t avoid the challenges, and yet there has to be chemistry too. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

 <\/p>\n

Question: Dear Elizabeth,<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/h2>\n

I have been involved with Buddhism for the last 5 years. I have tried many different traditions, Theravada, Tibetan, Shambhala, plain meditation without being linked to any of those however I reached a point or I think I reached a point that my heart is asking maybe to choose one and stick with it. I\u2019ve gone to many centers and more and more, unfortunately, I see a lot of power struggles and unfortunately people who are not so enlightened. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s just me or if I haven\u2019t found yet my place, my people in a certain tradition. So I feel and ask myself: am I alone in this path? Do I have to go through this path alone? What advice do you have?<\/span><\/h2>\n

<\/h2>\n

Response: Dear Friend,<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

Thank you for your question\u2026I had to mull over this one for a while!<\/span><\/h2>\n

It is true that when you enter into a community or sangha you see a lot of neurosis\u2026and if you don\u2019t at first, you will eventually! On one hand, we are looking for sanity in any situation we get involved with, but it\u2019s kind of like a romance (or life in general), you can\u2019t avoid the challenges.<\/span><\/h2>\n

I just read this humorous book called, \u201c10% Happier\u201d where the author \u2013 a green practitioner (Dan Harris) \u2013 goes on his first (silent, 10 day-day long) retreat.<\/span>
\n As you would expect he faces a lot of challenges. Throughout the retreat he refers to the other retreatants as zombies. And he has a lot to say about the teachers too. He makes all kinds of judgments about them\u2026but after the retreat comes to a close he gets a chance to talk with them individually and realizes that he really likes them. Overall, his retreat experience has a deep impact on him and he is now a dharma enthusiast, writing books encouraging others to practice.<\/span><\/h2>\n

So, I guess I am trying to say that we bring our own judgments and skepticism to these situations. We also bring our own ideas of \u2018perfect\u2019 or \u2018enlightenment\u2019 that often don\u2019t leave much room for people to be human. In fact, we should be suspicious of any notion of enlightenment that looks outwardly for peace or perfection. That\u2019s just the ego wanting the world to conform to its preferences.<\/span>
\n It\u2019s not a realistic way of look at life or spirituality.<\/span><\/h2>\n

Now I am not suggesting that you should join just any community. That is like saying: \u201coh, just marry anyone \u2013 it doesn\u2019t really matter.\u201d There has to be some chemistry there. But you are the only one who can discern whether you are being critical in a way that prevents you from finding a \u201cgood fit\u201d\u2026 or, if you just haven\u2019t found your place\u2026 yet.<\/span><\/h2>\n

I would ask you to reconsider any conclusion that there are no good dharma communities out there. I just got back from a three week teaching tour where I taught at five different centers and felt deeply impressed and moved by what they were doing. I thought, \u201cThe dharma might survive here in the West after all!\u201d It got me thinking about the value of the spiritual community and how important it is. I was struck by how many people were willing to take the time out of their busy lives to listen to the dharma with such deep longing and genuine openness. In truth, most people spend their lives distracting themselves without any curiosity at all. So to meet like-minded people in this way is rare. Furthermore, it is not easy to keep a center running. It is basically a time-consuming labor of love where no one gets paid. So we have to at least appreciate this level of commitment.<\/span><\/h2>\n

I remember the challenges we faced in the growing stages of our community. I don\u2019t think we knew exactly what we were doing, or even what it meant to \u201cpractice.\u201d The relationship with the teacher was also new and bewildering and we had a lot to work out. This is not to say that after over twenty years of being together we have \u201carrived\u201d at some state of perfection (I don\u2019t even look at things in that way anymore) but we do know how to value and utilize the challenges that arise to deepen our practice. We support each other and love each other. I have found in our community that people have become less reactive and more patient and much, much more socialized and refined! This aspect of the sangha \u2013 having to work it out together \u2013 is very powerful if people are committed.<\/span><\/h2>\n

To enter a community is to ask for feedback, and I don\u2019t even necessarily mean direct feedback, as in constantly hearing what they feel about us. What I mean is that the world continually responds to us based on how we relate to it\u2026whether we like it or not. It\u2019s easy to feel \u201cspiritual\u201d when there is no one to provoke you. Again, I\u2019m not suggesting you throw yourself into a chaotic situation that doesn\u2019t attract you. Best if you can find a place where you can see at least some qualities of practice in the senior students, some humility and graciousness in the situation. But the commitment to a sangha means we have decided to utilize the situation to grow\u2026rather than react or simply bail.<\/span><\/h2>\n

We are social beings and need community. In a sense, everyone we encounter in our life is part of our community\u2026and we can learn to be skillful and flexible enough to create harmony in the world we move about in. It\u2019s really up to us, individually.<\/span><\/h2>\n

I think it is truly wonderful that you have the aspiration to find a community to practice with. And you may have to do more investigation into what you are searching for, your expectations, and whom you feel comfortable with. Please don\u2019t give up!!<\/span><\/h2>\n

Best of luck!<\/span><\/h2>\n

Elizabeth<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\"namgyel\"<\/a> Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel\u00a0is known for her willingness to question the spiritual\u00a0path in order to reach a place of genuine practice and awakening. Using the Buddha’s teachings on emptiness as lens, she asks us\u00a0to\u00a0take a fresh look at all the assumptions and beliefs we have about reality and liberation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Republished with the kind permission of Elzabeth Mattis-Namgyel<\/h6>\n
\u00a0<\/strong>http:\/\/www.elizabethmattisnamgyel.com\/<\/a><\/h6>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Looking for a Spiritual Community Jun 7th 2014 Elizabeth responds to a friend who is looking for a practice community or “sangha.” She suggests that searching for a spiritual community is similar to looking for romance: you can’t avoid the challenges, and yet there has to be chemistry too.   Question: Dear Elizabeth, I have […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":153,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[162,163],"tags":[104,266,310],"class_list":["post-4208","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-articles","category-features","tag-buddhism","tag-elizabeth-mattis-namgyel","tag-the-sangha"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Sangha: Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel - Many Roads<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Albert\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Albert\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/d65113da84d62fbc945e6ee35f823e2a\"},\"headline\":\"The Sangha: Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-12-09T19:47:47+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":1128,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/files\\\/2015\\\/12\\\/meditation.png\",\"keywords\":[\"Buddhism\",\"Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel\",\"the sangha\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Articles\",\"Features\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/\",\"name\":\"The Sangha: Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel - Many Roads\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/files\\\/2015\\\/12\\\/meditation.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2015-12-09T19:47:47+00:00\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/4208-2\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/4\\\/2015\\\/12\\\/22152504\\\/meditation.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/4\\\/2015\\\/12\\\/22152504\\\/meditation.png\",\"width\":196,\"height\":257},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/\",\"name\":\"Many Roads\",\"description\":\"Bodhicharya's e-magazine\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Many Roads\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/4\\\/2017\\\/05\\\/22152403\\\/LOGO.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/4\\\/2017\\\/05\\\/22152403\\\/LOGO.png\",\"width\":506,\"height\":136,\"caption\":\"Many Roads\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/logo\\\/image\\\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/d65113da84d62fbc945e6ee35f823e2a\",\"name\":\"Albert\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/74f46c48e5feb0182fa876f0c8f77833248d3054dfa77047ad6712e9c0dfa9c2?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/74f46c48e5feb0182fa876f0c8f77833248d3054dfa77047ad6712e9c0dfa9c2?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/74f46c48e5feb0182fa876f0c8f77833248d3054dfa77047ad6712e9c0dfa9c2?s=96&d=blank&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Albert\"},\"description\":\"Came to Buddhism through Judaism, Hinduism atheism and a few other isms. Currently \\\"recovering\\\" from culture shock from having re-entered the UK after travelling for the past year in various countries. Now spending most of my time raising funds for destitute children in the northern part of Nepal - Helambu region - and editing Many Roads for the Bodhicharya website.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/blowthegaff.blogspot.co.uk\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/bodhicharya.org\\\/manyroads\\\/author\\\/avrom108\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Sangha: Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel - Many Roads","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Albert","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/"},"author":{"name":"Albert","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#\/schema\/person\/d65113da84d62fbc945e6ee35f823e2a"},"headline":"The Sangha: Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel","datePublished":"2015-12-09T19:47:47+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/"},"wordCount":1128,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/files\/2015\/12\/meditation.png","keywords":["Buddhism","Elizabeth Mattis Namgyel","the sangha"],"articleSection":["Articles","Features"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/","url":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/","name":"The Sangha: Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel - Many Roads","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/files\/2015\/12\/meditation.png","datePublished":"2015-12-09T19:47:47+00:00","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/4208-2\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2015\/12\/22152504\/meditation.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2015\/12\/22152504\/meditation.png","width":196,"height":257},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#website","url":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/","name":"Many Roads","description":"Bodhicharya's e-magazine","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#organization","name":"Many Roads","url":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/05\/22152403\/LOGO.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/d2wipdjmobk1g8.cloudfront.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2017\/05\/22152403\/LOGO.png","width":506,"height":136,"caption":"Many Roads"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/#\/schema\/person\/d65113da84d62fbc945e6ee35f823e2a","name":"Albert","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/74f46c48e5feb0182fa876f0c8f77833248d3054dfa77047ad6712e9c0dfa9c2?s=96&d=blank&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/74f46c48e5feb0182fa876f0c8f77833248d3054dfa77047ad6712e9c0dfa9c2?s=96&d=blank&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/74f46c48e5feb0182fa876f0c8f77833248d3054dfa77047ad6712e9c0dfa9c2?s=96&d=blank&r=g","caption":"Albert"},"description":"Came to Buddhism through Judaism, Hinduism atheism and a few other isms. Currently \"recovering\" from culture shock from having re-entered the UK after travelling for the past year in various countries. Now spending most of my time raising funds for destitute children in the northern part of Nepal - Helambu region - and editing Many Roads for the Bodhicharya website.","sameAs":["http:\/\/blowthegaff.blogspot.co.uk"],"url":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/author\/avrom108\/"}]}},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"shareaholic-thumbnail":false,"gform-image-choice-sm":false,"gform-image-choice-md":false,"gform-image-choice-lg":false,"mailchimp":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Albert","author_link":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/author\/avrom108\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Looking for a Spiritual Community Jun 7th 2014 Elizabeth responds to a friend who is looking for a practice community or “sangha.” She suggests that searching for a spiritual community is similar to looking for romance: you can’t avoid the challenges, and yet there has to be chemistry too.   Question: Dear Elizabeth, I have…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4208","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/153"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4208"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4208\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4208"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4208"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bodhicharya.org\/manyroads\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4208"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}