Universal Laws

 

frustration

  • If you play with anything long enough it will break. Murphy’s Law

  • Anything you buy will be in the sale next week. Emma Bombeck

  • When ripping an article from a newspaper, the tear is always into and never away from the required article. Alan Fraser

  • When you give a child a hammer, everything becomes a nail. Leo Kaplan

  • Every household has a box of odd keys.  None of them will ever be found to fit any lock.  Pam Brown

  • Preudomme’s Law of Window Cleaning:  it’s on the other side. Winston Preudhomme

  • However much a shower control may rotate, the degree of rotation required to change from ice-cold to scalding is never more than one millimeter.

  • Once you start buying first-aid kits you start having accidents.  George Mikes

  • The first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to anyone.  George Roberts

  • The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.  Lord Chesterfield

  • Gunter’s Second Law of Air Travel:  the strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of the coffee.  Nicholas Gunter

  • Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll beneath the vehicle to its exact centre.  Murphy’s Law of Car Repair.

  • There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.  William F Buckley

  • At bank, post office or supermarket, there is one universal law which you ignore at your own peril:  the shortest line moves the slowest.

  • Wood burns faster when you have cut and chopped it yourself  Harrison Ford

  • Nothing is so simple it cannot be misunderstood.  Albert Einstein

  • The easiest way to find something you have lost is to buy a replacement.  Rosenbaum’s Law

  • Anyone who says he isn’t going to resign four times, definitely will.  J.K. Galbraith

  • A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.  Charles Issawi

  • When you cat/baby has fallen asleep on you lap and looks utterly content and adorable you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.  Anon

  • When all else fails, read the instructions.  Anon

  • It works better if you plug it in.  Sattinger’s Law

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