LANGUAGE AND THAT

Highland Cow.

 

Some examples of correspondence sent to various departments of the Western Isles Council, Scotland.  There are serious problems of thinking in Gaelic and writing in English:

 

  • I am writing on behalf of my sink which is running away from the wall.

  • The toilet seat is cracked – where do I stand?

  • This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.

  • I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

  • Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

  • Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my wife tripped and fell on it and she is now pregnant.

  • Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it.

  • This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we cannot get BBC2.

  • The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

  • The lavatory is blocked. #This is caused by the boys next door throwing their ball on the roof.

  • I want some repairs doing to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

  • Would you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

  • Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old-age pensioner and I need it straight away.

  • I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.

 From Not the Worst of Tom Shields.

 

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